May 2010
“…a story was a form of telepathy. By means of inking symbols onto a page, she was able to send thoughts and feelings from her mind to her reader’s. It was a magical process, so commonplace that no one stopped to wonder at it.”
—Atonement, Ian McEwan (via isuggestyoutryvichy) (via teachingliteracy) (via booklover)
“When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. As far as I can tell so far, it seems to involve lots of foreign travel and not having to get up too early in the morning.”
—Neil Gaiman (via suzywire) (via nicereminders)
“Eliminating slut-shaming and virgin-shaming requires, in the words of Alastor Moody, constant vigilance. It means questioning our own judgments about other people’s behavior and decisions, and being aware of how we’re speaking and acting when we talk about sex. Ultimately, it’s going to take time, and a good deal of cultural work, to break down the enormous power of the words and concepts of “slut” and “virgin.” But it’s work worth doing: Once it’s done, all of us, no matter how much or how little or what kind of sex we have, can finally be totally, utterly and completely shameless.”
—“Slut Panel” postmortem: Shame, shame, go away - Feministing (via sexisnottheenemy)
“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
—Kurt Vonnegut (via metaphoricallanguage) (via waltzingalong)
“I’m not saying that people are not born gay. But this rhetoric is too limiting to be useful in the long run. As an argument, it seems to lend legitimacy to the idea that being gay is an undesirable state, like “hey, we’d be straight if we could and we have tried as hard as we can but we just can’t do it because we are biologically incapable! So that’s why you should stop being such a small-minded dick.”
Do gay people only deserve rights if they’re born gay? What if I choose to take another woman as a lover and partner when I feel I just as easily could have taken a man—does that mean I don’t? Wouldn’t it be better to unapologetically claim that we (all of us who support gay rights or are queer/bi/poly/etc.) want the freedom to make choices about our sexual life without the state telling us we forfeit our rights by those choices?” —nightmare brunette (via sexisnottheenemy) (via nicereminders)
Do gay people only deserve rights if they’re born gay? What if I choose to take another woman as a lover and partner when I feel I just as easily could have taken a man—does that mean I don’t? Wouldn’t it be better to unapologetically claim that we (all of us who support gay rights or are queer/bi/poly/etc.) want the freedom to make choices about our sexual life without the state telling us we forfeit our rights by those choices?” —nightmare brunette (via sexisnottheenemy) (via nicereminders)
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to have sex with someone you just met, or on a casual basis, or without feeling love for someone, as long as that feels right to both of you and you can do it with respect and care. Yes, it’s quite possible to act with respect and care when having casual sex. If you have difficulty imagining that, that’s fine. But don’t judge people who do it. It’s not something that works for everyone, but I personally know a lot of people who manage it without negative effects.”
—What Does Sex-Positivity Say About Abstinence? | Charlie Glickman (via sexisnottheenemy) (via nicereminders)
Re: I am not against Feminist movements →
ezli.tumblr.com
but, I do disagree with some of the beliefs. I know it’s all history now, but bra-burners and tomboys that refused to shave all enfuriate me. In essence, they are rejecting femininity , and the notion of womanness and wholesomeness, because they do not believe in gender roles. However, by…
I am a feminist & would like to express my opinion to your question… “why is femininity perceived as bad and repulsive?”
I was actually quite surprised when I read this. I’ve never heard of a true feminist implying that femininity is bad. Feminism isn’t about wanting to be like a man, feminism is about women having the right to choose who they want to be without feeling any guilt or shame. Whether she chooses to be a strong feminine woman, or embracing masculinity & choosing not to adhere to societies standards of having a hairless body. Any “feminist” who claims that a feminine woman is repulsive & evil isn’t staying true to what feminism is about. We want women to be strong & proud of who they are & how they want to express themselves or how they want to claim their identities. Feminism is more about an attitude, than it is about how you present yourself. I’ve met many powerful, beautiful feminists touching up their lip gloss in car windows :)
What Does Biphobia Look Like?
- Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual.
- Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified “that way” before you came to your “real” lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.
- Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the “opposite” gender/sex.
- Believing bisexual men spread AIDS/HIV and other STDs to heterosexuals.
- Thinking bisexual people haven’t made up their minds.
- Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.
- Assuming bisexuals would be willing to “pass” as anything other than bisexual.
- Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.
- Automatically assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay, or a man and a woman are heterosexual.
- Expecting bisexual people to get services, information and education from heterosexual service agencies for their “heterosexual side” (sic) and then go to gay and/or lesbian service agencies for their “homosexual side” (sic).
- Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too.
- Believing that bisexual women spread AIDS/HIV and other STDs to lesbians.
- Using the terms “phase” or “stage” or “confused” or “fence-sitter” or “bisexual” or “AC/DC” or “switchhitter” as slurs or in an accusatory way.
- Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with “opposite” sex/gender partners.
- Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of their sexuality rather than seeing them as a whole, complete person.
- Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.
- Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be within an “opposite” gender/sex coupling to reap the social benefits of a “heterosexual” pairing.
- Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.
- Assuming bisexual means “available.”
- Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.
- Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friend about their lover only when that lover is the same sex/gender.
- Feeling that you can’t trust a bisexual because they aren’t really gay or lesbian, or aren’t really heterosexual.
- Thinking that people identify as bisexual because it’s “trendy.”
- Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the “same” sex/gender.
- Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (i.e. HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, fighting the Right, military, same sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of “lesbian and/or gay” issues.
- Avoid mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.
I hate biphobia more than homophobia because 1. I take it more personally and 2. It often comes from other LGTQ folk. If we can’t support each other in a community, then who can we count on?
90% of my friends are bisexual.
Support & love all the way!
“
John Updike once said that the female body is the world’s prime aesthetic object – we look at it more than we look at anything else, including landscapes, gadgets, cars. In fact, cars and gadgets are often designed to resemble the female body, and landscapes can be painted to remind us of it. When we talk about ‘the nude’ in art we are almost certainly referring to the female nude. As far as nudes are concerned, the male nude is a distant runner-up.
I once wrote the introduction to a book of male nudes by the photographer Rankin; it was a sequel to his previous book of female nudes. One thing struck me above all – male nudes were a much, much harder thing to portray than female ones.
That’s because the female body carries with it a huge weight of iconic significance – thousands of years of being looked at. The female body has meaning. Pictures of the female body can be profound, serious and complex. For thousands of years they have been depicted with reverence. Now imagine having one of those bodies. It puts a bit of pressure on, doesn’t it?
Now I’m beginning to see why women might be so addicted to perfection. They have a lot to live up to – a couple of thousand years of art history, and a couple of thousand airbrushed boobs and bums to deal with every week.
” —Women and body image: a man’s perspective | The Daily Telegraph (via curvesahead)
“There are about five things to write songs about: I’m leaving you. You’re leaving me. I want you. You don’t want me. I believe in something. Five subjects, and twelve notes. For all that, we musicians do pretty well.”
—Elvis Costello
